Never Swipe a Necklace
by passionate fire
Summary: Fangirls are a terrible, terrible thing. Now complete
1. Prolouge

**((Insert witty banter about how I do not own Newsies here))**

**A/N: Okay. This is going to be something wayyyy different than what you've ever read …**

…**Maybe not. **

**I just always kinda got tired of those Newsies-Go-To-Some-Random-Girl's-House things. Sure, they're fun ((Heck, I've fantasied about it more than once)) but, I mean, it's just an excuse so that the girls can make out with their choice of Newsie. COME ON.**

**I wondered what the boys would really think if they just randomly showed up at somebody's house…. so this story was created. God help us all ;)**

* * *

… 

The alley by _Tibby's_ wasn't exactly a nice place to be. Since the restaurant used it as its own personal garbage can, it was filled with litter and vermin. Some said the rats that lived there grew to be the size of a large box. Most children on the street avoided the area, unless they were scrounging for yesterday's leftovers.

Of course, that just _happened_ to be the place that Mush Meyers had dragged his friends Kid Blink Ballet and Racetrack Higgins. What fun.

"Jesus, Mush," said Racetrack, pulling a piece of god-knew-what off his shoe. "Wouldja quit pacin' for a minute and tell me an' Blink here why we're sittin' on a rat's nest?"

"Yeah!" Blink added. "David told me dat dem things get all kinda diseases! He said dat in, like, da firteen hundreds, rats killed a whole bunches a people in Europe!"

Mush didn't reply. He just sighed and continued walking back and forth between the litter in _Tibby's_ alley. Race and Blink exchanged glances. Where was the cheerful Mush they knew?

After a long silence, Race got annoyed. "You gonna tell us or what, Mushy?"

The boy in question was pale in the summer heat. Blink wondered if his friend was sick.

"Fellas…" Mush spoke up finally, coming to a halt between a garbage can and a box that once held cherry phosphate. "I'se think I'm goin' crazy."

There was another awkward silence.

Kid Blink, being Kid Blink, was the one to break it. "Why?" He asked gently. Blink wasn't about to be cruel to the mentally ill. Especially if the person in question was his best friend.

"I'm…seein' things." Mush said, trembling. All of a sudden, the younger boy was babbling.

"I keep seein' dis goil, see, she's drivin' me nuts. I see her in my dreams all da time, like she's invadin' my sleep. I see her ridin' in carriages with da big shots. I see her hangin' out with Gypsies. Goddamn, I see her hawkin' headlines!"

Mush's hands are shakingRace noticed.

"And every time I see her, she just grins and winks at me. Den she turns back around to whatever she's doin'. I tell ya, I need to be locked up in Bellevue, quick!"

"You sure it's da same goil?" Blink asked hopefully. "Could be different ladies."

"I can tell what she looks like! It's always the same!" Now Mush was starting to hyperventilate.

"Maybe we oughta get ya inside." Race said, reaching out to grab Mush by the arm. The younger newsie shook him off.

"An it all started since I stole that damn necklace!" He hysterically cried, kicking the wall.

Blink and Race stopped in their tracks.

"Dat necklace! I swear! Swiped it offa big shot, and dis goil's been givin' me trouble eva since!"

Mush dug around in his pockets and pulled out a small, heart shaped locket on a golden chain. It was smudged with dirt, but from what the others could tell, the initials were H-E-L.

"H-E-L?" Race sniggered. "Who would name der kid…"

Rolling his eyes (eye?) Blink stood up, dragging the Italian with him. "Mush, let's go inside. I'se still don't wanna run into a rat the size of me arm out here."

Suddenly, a large commotion (that sounded like a sneeze) from of the boxes startled the three. They all jumped about five feet into the air. "Let's go!" Kid insisted.

"I wanna check it out!" said Race. He gingerly went to the afore mentioned box, going as quietly as he possibly could. The noise didn't sound like a rat, and when he got closer, he noticed the box had legs coming out from it.

Race held a finger to his lips, motioning for his friends to be quiet. He sneakily crept up to the box and with one quick motion, lifted up the top….

And let out a gasp of surprise.

For staring back at him was Oscar Delancy, famed scabber and enemy of all Newsies.

"Oscar?" Mush said in disbelief. He clutched his locket very tightly in his hand.

"I heard what you guys were talkin' about!" Oscar half yelled, staring up at the three bewildered newsboys from the filthy ground. "One of you stole a locket, and now you're seein' things! You're getting what ya deserve, you street rats! And once I tell Uncle Wiesel, it'll be getting a whole lot worse!"

Blink…well…blinked. That was about the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

"Are you drunk?" Racetrack grinned; cracking his knuckles, waiting for the soaking that was to come.

Oscar didn't reply. He just hauled himself to his feet and began trying to throw punches at Race.

Race darted easily out of the way, which meant that Oscar's fists hit the surprised Blink instead. Blink yelled and then, gaining his breath back, kneed Oscar in the most painful place a guy could ever get hit. Gasping for air, the scabber kneeled over.

Blink clapped his hands together. "That was easy." The one eyed boy said happily. "Now, where'd be Morris?"

Mush grinned, feeling better. "Stupid scabber," He chuckled, and spit at the groaning Oscar. Then Mush looked down at his oatmeal colored hands. They were still clutching the necklace. And they were glowing.

"Fellas!!" He shouted. "The neckl-"

But before Mush could finish, a white flash overcame the alley. Mush, Race, Blink, and Oscar disappeared without a trace from Tibby's, New York, and 1899 all together.

**A/N: How's that for a first chapter, eh? I know, I know, you're all just terrified in your chairs, wanting to know about what happens to our beloved Trio. And Oscar. Poor guy...he's going to be all alone in the chapters to come…kinda makes ya feel sorry for him…kinda. **

**Honestly, I think he's kind of hot. Better than Morris anyway.**

**((shrugs)) **

**But whatever…**

…

**Thoughts?**


	2. Doodles, Yummers, and Yoda

_**Disclaimer: I own Yummers, Doodles, and Yoda. I do not own Blink, Race, Oscar, or Mush. As if you didn't know…**_

_**A/N— SHOUTOUTS**_!

**_Spinner- I don't feel THAT sorry for him ;) Thanks for reviewing! _**

**_Heavenly Princess- Thanks. It should be pre-ty dang interesting as this thing gets going._**

**_SantaFeDreamer- Nice penname. :D Thanks a bunchies for the nice review. Have a cookie. ((hands you cookie))_**

**_Trignifty- Totally. Nothing can escape the god of hotness that is Mush! One of the very best parts of the movie is the beginning when the he doesn't have a shirt. ((drools)) Oh, and don't worry. This DEFINENTLY won't turn out that way._**

**_Montana Sky- Aw, thanks! You're so nice!! Yeah, as you can see I got a little bit tired too. This is gonna be a blast to write!!_**

_**I upped the rating to T. Just so's you know.**_

_**ONWARDS!!**_

* * *

"_Gee, it's dark in heah!"_

"**Quit yellin' in my eah, Mush!"**

"Sorry, Race," 

"—_**Can't believe I'm stuck in some tight, dark, hellhole with a bunch of street rats!"**_

"_Shuddup, Oscar!"_

"_**Make me, Patchy!"**_

"_GAHHHH!"_

The sounds of a scuffle were heard throughout the small closet. Yes, you heard me right---closet.

Unbeknownst to them, but beknownst to us, the Newsies (and Scabber) had arrived in a young girl's wardrobe. It was complete with high-heeled shoes on the floor and smelly, scratchy coats hanging up on the hangers. But the four couldn't tell. The closet was as dark as newspaper ink on a hot summer day.

Blink, though he couldn't see at all, was trying desperately to soak one half of the Delancey Brothers. He pounded anything and everything he felt on the stinky carpet, sometimes hitting his target, sometimes not.

"Take THAT, ya doity rotten—Ouch!" Blink held up his hand, which had started to bleed a little. He had accidently hit the end of a spike heel with his palm.

Oscar used this opportunity to hit Blink in the stomach, apparently recovered from the attack on his groin last chapter. The air knocked out of him, the gasping Blink rolled over onto Racetrack's feet.

"STOP!" Mush yelled, causing Race to protest his shouting again. "We'se gotta stick together! I gotta feelin' we ain't in New York no more!"

"No shit, Sherlock." grunted Oscar. Feeling around, (aw, take your mind out of the gutter!) He grabbed his opponent's face and was about to bash it when Race suddenly kicked Blink off his shoes and nailed Oscar right in the gut.

Mush, not wanting to be a part in the fight, stepped back. His curly head brushed a furry something and he backed up farther when….

He walked straight into a doorknob.

"Fellas! Quit fightin'!" Mush cried. "I found a door knob! I'se t'ink we're in a closet!"

Race frowned, and held out a hand to pull Blink to his feet. The scabber could get up on his own as the two newsies crowded around their friend, watching as he pushed and pulled on the poor doorknob.

"I can't get it…" grunted Mush, sweat trickling down his brow.

Race looked back at the form of Oscar, who was struggling to get up. A light bulb popped into the Italian's head.

He nudged Blink and whispered his plan. Kid Blink grinned and nodded.

"S'not working…" Mush groaned in frustration.

"Betcha Morris could do it just fine," Racetrack said slyly. "I mean, him bein' much more eloquent an' smarter an' stronger than his brother heah…"

"Yeah…and much more manlier too…" added Blink. "I hoid Oscar ain't even got a—"

Oscar growled and lunged at the grinning pair. They quickly sidestepped out of the way and the scabber ran right into the door. He fell to the ground, out cold.

"Was that supposed to help?" Mush asked. "It didn't."

"Maybe, but it was amusin'," Blink commented mildly. "Got that door yet?"

"As a matter 'o fact…"

The door swung open.

* * *

"Wow," gasped Mush. "Dis is better den _Pulitzer's_ mansion!"

The room that the boys were in was nothing short of fabulous.

It must have been a bedroom of some kind—a huge bed lay in the center--but really, it was so much more.

The room was painted a vile lime green, with purple lining the walls and borders. About half as long as the bunkroom, it had two dressers up against the right wall and a white vanity on the left. A bookcase overfilling with books was sitting right by the closet. Behind the bed, an open window blew a cool breeze into the bedroom.

_Colored _photos and pictures were all over the walls. Each picture was a different boy with his name imprinted on the bottom of each picture. The Newsies could read some of them—Zac Efron, Daniel Radcliff, Corbin Bleu--

Race thought that this girl, whoever she was, must be a whore.

_All them different pictures must be 'cause she bedded all of 'em… _ He thought grimly.

A large, black, rectangle…something was sitting across from the bed. It was as tall as a large dog, and it just sat there, forbidding and creepy. It was beginning to freak Blink out a bit.

Mush stuffed the necklace back into his pocket and stepped out of the closet. Racetrack and Blink wonderingly followed behind, single file. They were dazed.

However, Blink wasn't dazed enough toforget to give the limp Oscar a good kick on the way out. He shut the door behind him quickly in case the dirty scab woke up.

Then Race spotted something that made him light up with joy. "MONEY!" He bellowed, rushing over to the overfilled jar sitting on a table.

Race unscrewed the top and ran his fingers through the quarters and dimes and pennies. "Dis has more den what we'd make in a year!" He told his friends. "Maybe a lifetime!"

The Newsie then proceeded to stuff his pockets full of the stuff. "Woo!"

Mush and Blink rushed over to him.

"Give me some!" Mush yelled. He tried to get his hand through the jar, but Race swatted his dirty fingers away.

"Nah, boys. I'se found the whole thing, I'se keeping' it. I'll buy ya dessert at Tibby's to make up for it, I swear!"

"Hmmmph," Hmmmph-ed Mush. "Are we evah gonna get BACK?"

The voices of girls suddenly reached the boy's ears. They looked at each other in terror as they heard several young women climb slowly up the stairs. Race dropped the money jar and backed away from it quickly.

"It sounds like animals out dere, Blink!" Mush whispered. Indeed, it did. The girls were hooting and screaming like pigeons. "I'se think dose goils are drunk!"

The three valiantly looked around for some place to hide. They couldn't go back in the closet, because Oscar was in there and it was _dark_. They couldn't hide under the bed, because they were too big, and they couldn't jump out the window, because the room was up pretty high.

So the boys opted for hiding behind the headset of the bed. They dropped to their knees and scooted to their hiding place. This would have to do for now.

Not a second too soon, the girls in question opened the door. They were giddy with happiness and talking gibberish.

"I cannot believe J.K. would do something like that to us, though! Why on earth would she kill Harry? We, as Fangirls, would MURDER her!" One said, her footsteps heavy on the wooden floor. She flopped down on the bed, making springs squeak in protest.

Another girl joined her. She was no more than six inches away from Mush's head. "Totally!"

_What the hell?_ thought Blink. _Are we listenin' in on a plan to kill someone?_

"Eye-Dee-Kay1," Someone else was thoughtful. She had a squeaky voice. "I think it'd be kinda cool if Harry died. 'Cause then Voldemort would rule, and everyone wouldn't have to worry about Harry being hot. They could just focus on Draco Malfoy."

"You're a sadist," The first girl stated "Voldemort needs to die and burn in a very fiery pit of hell and doom!"

_Dat's not very nice _Mush thought to himself. _You shouldn't think about people like dat._

There was complete silence.

His two friends glared at him.

It took Mush about two seconds to realize that he'd said that _right out loud_.

"Oops," He covered his mouth with his hand. "Sorry!"

The springs on the bed squeaked again, and someone with mousy brown hair and an acne problem peered over at the boys. She gasped and rubbed her eyes.

"W-w-who is it, Hailey?" The Squeaky Girl squeaked. "It's my brother playing tricks on us again, right?"

Hailey gulped. "No, it's Mush, Racetrack, and Blink. From Newsies…"

_How does she know who we are? _Race panicked.

"WHAT?" screamed the other two, bounding over. Their mouths dropped open. Mush, Race, and Blink felt rather like animals in a cage.

"Uh…hi?" said Blink, rather tired of the awkward silences. "Is dere somethin' wrong with youse?"

"Omigod, he's even hotter in PERSON!" A girl with curly hair bounced up and down. She flew off the bed and then grabbed Blink by the ear.

"OW!"

"Yup, he's real!" she said happily. The young girl pulled Blink up to his full height, an amazing feat considering he was a good deal taller than her. "Hi! I'm Yummers! I can't believe I'm meeting you! You're my fave Newsie ever! The Eye Patch is a real turn on! You're so freaking sexy, I love you so much and want to have your babies! "

Blink, poor kid, wasn't listening. He was desperately trying to get Yummer's hand off his ear. It wasn't working. She had an iron grip.

Race got up, and after a second, so did Mush. The other two girls were still gawking at them.

"Mind tellin' us where we'se are?" asked Race irritably. "I knows you goils can talk, so start talkin'"

Yummers chattered away, not disturbed at all by the fact that Blink was trying to get away. " You're in 2007, silly!" She giggled. "And I betcha I know how they got here, you guys! Newsies was in the DVD player! I betcha that's how they got through! They came through the TV! Right? Right?"

"Woah-woah-woah," Race said, not believing his ears. "2007? Are you nuts? It's 1899!"

Mush noticed for the first time the way the girls were dressed. They were wearing trousers and very tiny undershirts. He'd never seen such scantily clad girls in all his life—even the hookers were a bit more modest. Even the lowest of the low wouldn't dream of wearing men's clothing.

"Race…I don't t'ink they're lyin'…"

"We're not," Hailey insisted, running a hand through her greasy brown hair. "Doodles, I claim Race!"

"And who does that leave me with? When Despot gets here, she's gonna want Mush…I want a Newsie!" whined Doodles.

"You will, dear," Hailey soothed. She turned to Race and Mush. "I'm Yoda, and this is Doodles," She introduced, smiling at the boys.

Mush was confused. "Ise thought your name was Hailey,"

"It's my Newsie Nickname, silly! "

_Those have gotta be the most dumb-assed nicknames I've ever heard..._ Race thought.

Kid Blink finally wrenched Yummer's hand off of his ear.

"Wouldja leave me alone? I got me a goil at home, I don't want you!"

"Yes, you do!" Yummers beamed. "I know, in your heart, that you love me as much as much as I love you!"

She then proceeded to attack Blink around the middle, hugging him tightly.

"Aren't they the cutest couple?" sighed Hailey—er, Yoda.

* * *

**_A/N: Dang, that was short. ( Sorry about the l-o-n-g update, people. My computer broke down…grrr…._**

**_NOTE1. Eye-Dee-Kay is supposed to be idk (I don't know). Like in chat speak. Except the Newsies don't HAVE chat speak knowledge (duh) so that is what it sounds like to their ears._**

**_That is all. :D Review, please._**

**_1_**


	3. Oscar Comes Out Of the Closet!

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and if I did, that would be a lie. And lies aren't very nice, are they? Although, I've never been considered nice…beyond the point. I don't own Newsies, okay?**_

_**SHOUTOUTS!!! **_

burnt-mufn: I know, right? Poor Newsies. D Thanks for the review, and I love your picture. (check out mine, it's hysterical!!)

Spinner: I LOVE having my work quoted back at me!!! BWAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, Yummers is slightly based off me. Well, only SLIGHTLY. I mean, Blink's my favorite Newsie and all…I'd probably have the same reaction too. It's probably a good thing this never happens in real life…: winks back:

Trignifty: Thanks!! Hope you enjoy this next one!! Here, have a cookie :hands you cookie:

MontanaSky: Well, I'm glad I reassured you!! Thank you so much for telling me my girls aren't Sues, that makes me feel ever so much better:skips around like the pansy I am:

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE **

"Do you want to sit down?" Hailey-Yoda offered Mush and Race. She couldn't ask Blink, of course, since Yummers was linked onto his waist.

Mush and Racetrack looked at each other. The Look said something like "We're not getting near this broad with a ten foot pole".

"C'mon," Doodles had moved to a big, fuzzy, purple chair and was sprawled out comfortably on the pillows. "We don't got cooties."

Race and Mush didn't move.

"Sit," snarled Hailey Yoda. If Race didn't know better, he'd say her eyes were turning a dark red-ish color.

Race and Mush sat.

"C'mon, Blinky-182!" Yummers let go of Kid's waist, to his obvious relief. She grabbed his hand. Her hands were sticky. "Let's sit down here."

She led him to the other side of Hailey-Yoda's bed, Kid Blink twisting and turning all the way. Yummers got him to sit, and then frowned, as if seeing the Newsie for the very first time.

"You don't seem to happy to see me," She said calmly. Blink hit his hand against his head in frustration.

"No, I'se not. I'se dunno who you think I am—"

"You're Kid Blink!" beamed Yummers.

"—But I soitenly ain't yer feller. So wouldja please quit actin' like you'se married to me?"

Race snickered under his breath. Hailey-Yoda looked at him. He stopped.

"But I AM married to you, Blink dearest!" Yummers bounced up and down and went to grab something from a dresser drawer. She pulled two rings and a piece of paper out and handed it to Blink.

"See, it says, "Yummers Fangman and Kid Blink, married on October 25, 2006! I've even got the rings!"

If Blink, Race, and Mush had been born several generations later, they would have recognized the rings as the ones that one would find in the vending machines at Wal-Mart. But they weren't, so they didn't.

Blink's mouth dropped open. He gaped for a few seconds, looking rather like a fish—before jumping to his feet and angrily grabbing Mush and Race by the forearms.

"Dis this nuts. Mush, get dat Necklace of yours to woik, and quick!"

"B-b-b-ut you CAN'T leave!" wailed Yummers. "I've waited my whole life to meet you! And now that it's finally come true—you're ruining my dreams!"

Blink looked at her unpityingly. "So?" he asked snootily, trying to ignore the sniffles and wails. Mush dug around in his pocket and finally pulled out the stupid object that had brought the Newsboys into this predicament. He squeezed it—and nothing happened.

"It won't woik?" Race bent over to look at the locket. It was still a dull gold color.

"No!" Mush was frustrated.

"Of course it won't!" said a voice cheerily from outside the room. Blink, Race, and Mush jumped. The girls looked indifferent.

"God, Dutchy—do you HAVE to do that?" complained Doodles, always up for whining.

_What's DUTCHY gotta do with it? _Blink thought._ He ain't here!_

Dutchy didn't give an answer. She opened the door and closed it hastily, her short red hair swaying with the effort.

"It won't work, Race, because Mush hasn't got the other Necklace," she explained, apparently not fazed by seeing three Newsboys out of their time.

"What—how d'ya know..." Race glanced at Mush, who had gone a pale white. "Mush? You'se okay, buddy?"

Mush shook his head. "It's her…" He whispered. "The goil. From before. In my dreams."

"Of course it is!" replied Dutchy. "I charmed the stupid Necklace, I should know…the one that brought you here!"

_Dis thing got us into dis mess?_ Thought Race _She's barely taller 'n me!_

She made her way towards Mush, who scuttled his way out of her touch. "Don' touch me! I knows…I knows what you'se trying to do!" He said angrily. "Blink—Race—"

Dutchy's cold blue eyes narrowed. "You mean you didn't tell them?"

Mush shook his head, looking nervous.

"Tell us what, Mush?" Blink asked, his tough exterior fading. Yummers squealed with delight at seeing her favorite Newsie being all touchy-feely. She'd always wanted to see a Blush fiction in real life.

"I…uh.." Mush glanced at his boots. "Well…see…I didn't tell youse all about the dreams and stuff with her…uh…Dutchy."

Race massaged his temples. "Dis keeps getting' weirder and weirder…" he mumbled.

"Thing is…she did more den wink at me and stuff…she talked to me. And, uh, some of the stuff she said wasn't nothing fit for a lady to say, if you know what I mean…that is, uh…she kept tellin' she wanted to—uh--."

"Sexatise you??" supplied Yummers. "That's what I told Blinky!"

"…Sure. And she'd kept tellin' me all the stuff she wanted ta do to me, and how close she was ta doing it---and…"

Dutchy interrupted. "That's enough, Mush."

Screw Yummers and all her scary, scary ways. Blink was now positive that the stone-cold girl standing coolly in front of Mush was the most dangerous person in the room. If she could get a tough Newsie to tremble in his boots…

"Hailey, I think that those handcuffs you got are needed, the boys are gonna run away if we let 'em alone too much longer…" Dutchy told Hailey. Yoda. Whatever.

The other girl nodded, and before Race, Blink, and Mush knew it, she'd whipped out three pairs of handcuffs. Hailey grabbed each boy's left wrist and slipped it in the left handcuff. With the right handcuff, she chained the Newsies to the bed. None had a chance to retaliate.

_God, If the guys knew this was happen' to us, we'd never live it down _Thought Blink.

"How'd you get the handcuffs, Hailey?" Yummers asked curiously. Hailey grinned.

"I found them in my parent's bedroom. God knows what they were doing in there…." Hailey arched an eyebrow. "Oh, and I lost the key, too!"

"THERE'S NO KEY!?" Blink panicked.

"She's just kidding, Blinkers!!" Yummers held up a long, spindly shaped key and then slipped it into her back pocket. "Wow, you're gullible."

"YOUSE A BUNCHA CRAZIES!" Race shouted, nearly scraping his hand on the cuffs.

"Shut up, Race," Doodles said simply, before frowning. "Hey, where's Spot?"

The Newsies stared at her. Doodles rolled her eyes. "C'mon, you guys. Spot Conlon? Short, Sexy, and Slingshotted?"

_Slingshotted? _Mush thought. _What? _

"Course we knows who he is!" Blink puffed out his chest importantly. Yummers squealed. "He's probably in Brooklyn now, innet 'e? He leads it, ya know,"

"Don't tell me about Spot! I know all there is about SPOT!"

Blink lifted up his hands, before remembering one of them was chained to the bedpost. "Okay, okay. Jeez. Whaddaya want with Ol' Spot anyway?"

"Well," explained Doodles, "In every good Time-Travel fic, Spot always makes an appearance so one of the girls can screw him. Always. Where is he?"

Blink was mystified. He didn't understand a word of that. And judging by their faces, neither did Mush or Racetrack.

Of course, at that moment, Oscar decided to bang on the closet door and scream loudly. Mush would have called it irony, except Mush didn't know what irony was.

"My Spottie has arrived!" Doodles cried. She rushed to the door, opened it, and then closed it again.

"Okay," she demanded. "Who the HELL let Oscar Delancy come?"

"Wha, youse think WESE like 'im?" Race asked, still pulling on his chain and mumbling under his breath.

"Just go with him, Doodles." Dutchy insisted, with a fleeting glance at Mush. "He's hotter than Morris, anyway."

Doodles scowled, and flung open the door.

* * *

When Oscar stumbled out, he didn't know what he got into. The three Newsies were chained to a huge bed, looking annoyed. In Mush's (or, as Oscar liked to call him in his mind, DumbAss's) case, they looked scared and worried. 

The room itself was fantastic, like something out of another world. Oscar made a mental note to kill DumbAss as soon as he got the chance, for bringing him into this mess. Also, The One-Eyed Freak and Shortie for knocking him out.

"Hey!" A girl to his right said to him. Oscar jumped. "I'm Doodles. We're having a relationship, starting now. I've decided you're hot, even though you ARE an Asshole."

She then proceeded to attack him with a pair of handcuffs liken to the ones that were holding Blink, Race, and Mush. Within a minute, he was in bondage.

The scabber never had a chance.

* * *

Oscar was not a very good prisoner. He was just about throwing a tantrum within a minute of being shackled to the bed. Race was quite amused as the scab, screaming obscenities, attempted to throttle Doodles. 

"Lemme go!" He bellowed. Dutchy frowned at him.

"Stop," She said quietly. Oscar didn't hear her.

"I said, stop."

Still Oscar did nothing.

"SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Oscar shut up.

"Thank you!" Dutchy smiled pleasantly.

Blink shivered.

* * *

"Whaddaya want wit' us, anyway?" Race asked. "We didn't do nuttin to you crazies!" 

"Didn't we tell you? We wanted you to sexatise…we're not having real good luck in the world, see?"

Oscar glowered at Hailey-Yoda, who had spoken. "Yeah," he jeered. "I can see why. You're uglier than pigs rollin' around in the mud!"

Hailey looked at him angrily. "W-what?"

'You're a street rat, a nothing. You're lower than these dumbasses over here. At least they don't got pimples."

_Gosh, that's the nicest thing I ever heard Oscar say!_ Mush thought _to us, anyway_

Hailey glared at Oscar, before bursting into tears. She ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

_Damn, wish I'd thought of that! wished _Race. _Forgot how easy it was to get girls to start bawlin_

"Now look what you've done!" Dutchy said, annoyed. "Now we've gotta go make her feel better!"

She strode out of the room, closely followed by Doodles. Yummers, on the other hand, stayed behind and went up to Blink. The Newsie strained his handcuffs to get away from her, with no avail.

"OMG! YOU'RE SO FUCKING SEXXY!!11!!11!" She screamed, somehow speaking in chatspeak. This may sound odd to you, but I can assure you, it is totally normal for a fangirl.

Blink's eyes widened when he felt Yummer's hand in a rather…inappropriate place.

"Yummers!" called Dutchy from the hallway. Yummers bounded after her, slamming the door again.

The Newsies were alone.

"That was low, Oscar," said Mush, disapprovingly. "Even for youse."

"Got them outta the room, didn't it?" retorted Oscar.

"Yeah, but what'd that get us, huh?" Race said. "Now wese got the loonies mad at us, t'anks to you!"

"Wese did get somethin' Race," Blink smiled grimly. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the key. He'd managed to pocket it after Yummers had forced herself on him.

"You'se a GENIUS, Blink!" Mush crowed.

'So dey tell me." Blink clinked open his cuffs and then started on Racetrack's.

"Alright, we'se free." said Race. "Now what? We can't 'zactly walk out their front door."

"Easy," Now, Kid Blink was working on Mush's. "Wese jump from the winda."

"It's two stories high!" complained Mush.

"Got any betta ideas?"

"…it's a long ways down!"

Oscar looked up as the three prepared to lever themselves out the window.

"What about me?"

"What about you?" asked Blink, carefully opening the window a bit more. He stuck his blond head out. "Wow!"

What Blink saw was this: A street, surrounded by houses. Lush, green grass on every one, and no cobblestones in sight. Strange huge carriages with no horses in the driveways.

In short, middle class America. It looked like heaven to the Newsie.

"You're not just going to leave me here, are you?" complained Oscar.

Race was surprised. "Shoah we are. You'd do the same t'ing to us!"

"I saved your lousy hides!"

Blink pulled his head out of the window, hitting his forehead in the process. "Fine," He groaned, unlocking Oscar. "But youse gotta stop soakin' the Newsies at every chance youse got."

"Yeah, Yeah," Oscar agreed quickly. "Sure."

Racetrack looked out of the window as well. "Okay," he directed. "Dere's some grass right below us, but watch out fer the cement. Should be easy enough."

He put his feet over the window and jumped. The sound of him hitting the grass was heard, and Mush rushed over to look at him. Race had indeed landed on his feet and was now looking curiously at all the houses.

Oscar pushed Mush out of the way, throwing himself out of the window without a word. Mush banged his elbow in the process.

"After youse," he said to Kid Blink, holding his hurt funny bone. Mush had a fear of heights.

Blink nodded, put his hand on Mush's shoulder, and then dropped out to freedom quickly and quietly. Mush bit his lip, not wanting to go.

"C'mon," Race yelled. "Haven't got all day! They'll be back any minute!"

Sure enough, Mush could hear the girl's footsteps coming closer and closer. He gulped.

As the doorknob turned, Mush threw himself out and plummeted to the ground.

* * *

The thing was, Mush hadn't bothered to check where he would landing as he jumped. So instead of hitting the nice, soft grass, he had landed on the cement. Hard. 

"Ouch…" he muttered, rolling onto his back. He stared up at the sky, trying to ignore the pain that was throbbing through his arm.

"Mush!" Blink bellowed. He rushed over, closely followed by Racetrack. "Are you okay?"

Mush stared up at the concerned faces peering up at him, fazing in and out of consciousness. "Fine," he said faintly. "My arm's _killin'_ me though…"

Overhead, Yummer's head peaked out and looked down at them. "What are you two doing?" She wailed. "Come back!"

_Sounds like a goat_ observed Racetrack.

Very slowly, Mush managed to get up, swaying as he did so. He held his arm and walked a few steps, relieved when he didn't collapse on the pavement.

'I'se t'ink we betta start runnin' now, street ra---fellas," Oscar said, as the sound of people running down the stairs was heard.

Blink looked at Mush, a question in his eye. Mush nodded.

'I can run," he said. Already his head was starting to clear.

The Newsies (and scab) took off running to the right, with no idea where they were going, or how they were going to get there. Wherever it was, they hoped it was better than the house they left behind.

In their opinion, the future really sucked.

_**A/N: I know better than anyone that this isn't my best work, not by a long-shot...but review and tell me?? Please:puppy dog eyes: **_

_**Thanks! **_


	4. A Big Red Shiny Thing

_**Disclaimer: Hmmm. Let's see what disclaimer is spelled backwards.**_

_**R-E-M-I-A-L-C-S-I-D **_

_**Well, the first letters could mean "remind," and the "a-l" could mean all, and "c" could mean "see" …and then Sid. So, Remind All See Sid. So, what's up with Sid? I'm not sure. Maybe he'll tell you I don't own Newsies. Cause he's absolutely right.**_

_**A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating. I'm working on another fic with my friend Logie, called "Always Watching." It's a Blush fic. ) Don't worry, I'm still writing this! **_

_**SHOUTOUTS!!!**_

SilverRain1.3: Yup, that's my goal. And you're so right, Mush IS a god. : bows down to Mush's hotness: We should, like, make a cult out of his hotness. I don't know about you, but I already worship him anyway. )

burnt-muffn: Well, I like being told I'm hilarious!! LOL. And yeah. It's way true. It's also really annoying (in those fics). 'though that might just be because I don't really like Spot…. :all gasp:

Spinner: aha. Man, Spin-sy. (HAHA, I found you a new nickname!) I love you. XD. Wow. I'm glad to hear you laughed so hard. : pats you in your mad laughing fit: Yeah, I like the whole sexatise thing too. I find it incredibly easy to write Yummer's scenes and dialogues, mostly 'cuz it's what I'd do. But you already knew that. )

Swindler: YAY!! A NEW REVIWER:huggles you: Thanks for your awesome compliments!! I'm glad you think this is in character; I was really worried about the OCC of it. Guess I shouldn't have. And I'm also glad to hear you were rolling about on the floor. That's what I aim for!!!

* * *

Mush, Racetrack, Kid Blink, and Oscar Delancy were all running for their lives.

If you were to ask: Why on Earth are Mush, Racetrack, Kid Blink, and Oscar Delancy running for their lives? I would answer: Because, rabid fangirls are chasing after them.

And I would be perfectly right.

The Newsies (and Oscar) were running in the middle of the road, unaware that times had changed and horses weren't used much anymore. Since the young men couldn't smell horse excrement, they assumed all was well.

They were wrong.

A huge, gigantic…something suddenly zoomed faster and faster towards the boys. It was a bright, shiny red, and no horses were in sight. It was terrifying.

Racetrack threw himself to the side, hearing Blink and Mush do the same. He looked over his shoulder, and Oscar was still standing in the middle, frozen to the spot.

_Hope he'll get run over _Race smirked_. It'd get rid of a lota trouble_

Racetrack was pretty sure Blink and Mush were thinking the same thing. And he was right.

* * *

Oscar was quite scared as the he saw the front of the truck rearing up to meet him. He shook with fear, hoping that the monster (For that is what he assumed it was) would be merciful and make his death quick and painless.

_I've done nothing that I haven't regretted, at least _Oscar thought. _Still, I wish I could have gotten laid at least one time in my life_

Fortunately for the scab, the thing swerved at the very last second, missing Oscar by inches

* * *

"Dumb kids!" The owner of the truck exclaimed, as the boy he nearly hit stared after him. He withdrew his head from the window, cursing. "Kids these days," He muttered. The driver's eyes then widened as he saw four girls directly in his path. He honked his horn repeatedly as one of the girls looked up and began to scream.

* * *

Mush grinned as he watched Yummers, Doodles, Dutchy, and Yoda get clobbered by the thing. He was positive that somewhere out there, there WAS a god

An idea suddenly occurred to him.

"Hey fellas," Mush said carefully. "Youse t'ink we'se in Santa Fe?"

Race looked at him incredulously. "Couse not," The Italian replied. "Do youse SEE any cowboys?"

"Well, I was jist thinkin'…"

"Hey!" Blink exclaimed, pointing a shaking finger at the lush green grass behind him. "Look! We'se can take a shortcut cross here!"

Race, Mush (and Oscar, who had moved to the curb with them) looked. Indeed, a small hill sloped upwards, covered with grass and fences. It was apparently a series of backyards.

'Well, what are ya waitin' for?" Racetrack said. "C'mon!"

The boys began running again. This time, uphill.

The grass tickled Mush's legs as he sprinted upwards. He was the only boy in their little troop wearing short pants and he was glad. It was much more hotter here than the Big Apple.

When they were halfway up the hill, Race stopped. "I'se t'ink wese lost 'em!" He panted. "But now whaddo we do?"

"Let's find a Newsie somewheres," suggested Blink. "And have him tell us where da nearest Lodgin' House is."

"But what if there ain't no more Newsies? Mush asked. "Yummers said it was about a hunnert and twenty years from now!"

Race rolled his eyes and cut across someone's well-kept lawn. The others followed him.

"She said a hunnert and five, wise guy. 'sides, she was crazier than a shit house rat. Betcha we'se still in 1899, double or nuttin'"

"Bum odds," replied Mush. "How do you explain everyt'ing else, huh? Everyt'ings different."

"Cause," Race explained. "Ise in a dream. Youse all is just a figment of my imagination."

"Oh," said Mush. 'Well, that'd explain it."

Oscar thought that he had rightly nicknamed Mush as "Dumbass."

The four crossed onto another street. There were more houses and more of the huge things that had nearly cut down Oscar in the driveways.

'Hey!" Blink said suddenly. "Somebodies comin' our way!"

Indeed, a small boy on a bike was throwing bundles of stuff onto each house's driveway. When he got closer, Mush noticed that the bundles were newspapers and he said as much.

"Hmm…" said Race. He then called out: "HEY, KID!! WANNA MAKE A DIME?"

The boy in question slowed to a stop, looking at them curiously with big brown eyes. "What would I buy for a dime?" He asked. "A dollar, I'd take. But a dime?"

Racetrack was indignant. "Where would Ise get a dollah?"

The kid shook his head. "Man, mister. You must really be poor."

Before Racetrack could get any angrier, Blink stepped in. "Look," he said. "Could ya tell us where da nearest Lodgin' House fer Boys is?"

"…. there's a Comfort Inn on interstate 95 a long ways from here." replied the kid. "Why are you all talking funny?"

Oscar growled and started forward, intent on pummeling the little squirt. The kid looked alarmed, and took off on his bike again, his newspaper job forgotten. "I'M GONNA TELL MY MOM ON YOU!!!" He yelled, as he rode out of sight.

"Great," said Racetrack, wiping his forehead. "Just great. You really screwed that one up, Oscar."

"Well, how was I supposed to know he wouldn't help? If the pussy standin' next to me wouldn't have said somethin', I'd have—"

"Leave Mush alone!" Blink snapped. "That kid was prob'ly gonna tell us somethin', and it was your fault he ran!"

"And don't call me that!" Mush added, angrier about the name calling than the fact that a source of information had left.

"What, pussy?" mocked Oscar.

"Stop it!"

"Pussy!"

"STOP!"

"Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy---HEY!!!!!! OW!!!!!"

Mush had tackled Oscar to the hard cement, and was now beating him senseless. His hurt arm was forgotten into his single goal of soaking the scab.

_Gotta remember not to make Mush mad. _Racetrack thought, as he calmly watched Mush punch Oscar in the face again and again. _Damn. He should take up boxin'. Make millions._

Some of the pain in Mush's arm was coming back. He winced, and with a heavy sigh, let Oscar go.

"How come youse didn't kill 'im?" Blink asked, disappointed.

Mush grinned at him, holding his elbow. "How come youse didn't help me?"

The two beamed at each other for a minute, before being interrupted by Race clearing his throat.

"Uh…fellas…"

The others looked at him. Race gulped, and pointed.

On the other side of the street, someone was watching them.

But it wasn't just someone.

It was a _girl._

* * *

"Damn," Blink swore, preparing to run. Even Oscar, bleeding on the ground, managed to sit up and struggle to get back up on his feet.

"Wait!" The girl shouted, walking off her front porch and coming towards them. "I'm not going to—"

"Yeah, youse and Dutchy and Yummers and whoever the hell else." Race insulted. "Jesus, who the hell do youse like? Jake?"

The girl looked annoyed. "I don't even know who that is... Look, you guys are from Newsies, right?"

"Yeah, wese Newsies." Said Mush. "Except for this bum on da ground."

"That's what I thought. Listen, you better come into the house. We need to have a chat."

Blink was apprehensive. "How do wese know you ain't gonna try ta rape us when we get in there?"

"Because," the girl said simply. "I hate the Newsies."

_**A/N: OOO A NEW CHARACTER!!! IS SHE BAD OR IS SHE GOOD?**_

**Only I know the answer. Teehee.**

**Sorry about how Yummers and co. weren't in there that much. I know how much you guys love her and her obsessive-ness. Don't worry, though. She'll be back. I've got big plans for her!!**

_**: evil grin:**_

_**See the little purple button over there? On your left? It says submit review. Press it. You won't be disappointed. **_

_**I might be, though, if you don't.**_


	5. Dude!

_**Disclaimer: Disclaimer: -clears throat- -glares at everyone to be quiet- -adjusts mike- -waits about five minutes- What, are you waiting for a speech or something? o.o All I'm here to say is that I don't own Newsies…GOSH!!!!**_

_**SHOUTOUTS!!!! ZOMG!!!!!**_

_**SilverRain1.3: Yup, go Mush:cheers for him: YAY!!! And, um, no. It's not. I wish it was, but my friend is reading this, and she told me "NO SLASH. NONE. UNDER ANY CICUMSTANCES. NO." So, no Blush. She didn't say any fluff though, so…lol.**_

_**Swindler: ooOOo you're right, mad Mushers IS a good image. Yum. Wow, thanks. I like hearing that it's very well balanced. I try. XD HAHAHA!! I UPDATED!!! ARE YOU HAPPY, MISSY!!!? (lol)**_

_**Dusk Writer: Hehe, that's what I aim for. They aren't supposed to be normal. :nods: I'm glad to hear it made your day. It made my day getting your review:blinks: Wow, that was cheesy...**_

_**Spinner: Spin-sy, darling. I love you so:huggles you: umm….let's just say…Yummers and co. didn't get hit very hard?? Yeah. Let's just say that. XD Oh, and Blink's a very violent guy. I mean, I think he is. If you watch the movie, he's like, "GROOOOOAR!!!!" when he's mad, and "YAYAYAYAY!" when he's happy. That, my dear, is what you call talent. (on Trey's part.)**_

_**That, or multiple personality disorder. XD**_

**_Thanks for everyone's reviews!! They make me happy!!_**

_

* * *

_

_"I hate Newsies."_

Three sets of eyebrows raised.

The other's, Oscar's, furrowed with joy.

_Finally, I've found someone!!! Someone who hates the Newsies as much as I do, someone who dislikes them with a hateful, burning, pass—_

"Well, I don't _hate _you," the girl amended, walking off her front porch and onto the street. She stared Racetrack directly in the eyes, green orbs staring into brown. "I just don't think you're that cute."

Racetrack was creeped out by the girl's relentless stare. He was also sort of mad. "Why, what's wrong wit' us?" He asked. The Italian took out his cigar and stuck it in his mouth, savoring the flavor.

The girl blinked. "Well, you're short and ugly, the other kid has an eyepatch, and the other two are just…you know, yucky. Nasty. Gross. I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYBODY COULD FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE! SEX ON A STICK, MY ASS!"

She shouted that last part, spittle flying in Race's face. Blink was sure she'd had the same conversation before many times.

And he was right.

"Look," the girl said, as Racetrack wiped his face (and cigar) in disgust. 'I want to help you get back."

"How do wese know youse ain't a nutter like them others?" said Mush suspiciously, appearing beside Blink's elbow.

There was a long pause.

"Got anywhere else to go?" The girl replied finally.

The boys (excluding Oscar, who was still in a daze) looked at each other and shook their heads. They would have to trust her for now.

"C'mon, my parents are at work," She motioned them up the front porch. The Newsies (and Oscar, a minute later) followed her, staring at the white washed steps.

"Gosh, you'd think you guys had never seen steps before," said the girl sarcastically.

Race's eyes narrowed into slits. He didn't like her already. He hated smart-asses.

Racetrack was a bit of a hypocrite.

The girl ushered them into the house quickly, her large eyes darting around to make sure none of her nosy older neighbors were watching. They'd surely call her mom at work if they found out she was letting four teenage boys into her home.

"I'm Christine," She introduced herself, as the boys finally made it inside.

"What, no made up Newsie Nickname?" Racetrack asked.

She scowled. "I already told you, I'm not like Hailey and Rose and Hanna and Lizzie. I don't have one."

_I hate smart-asses, _Christine thought to herself.

Mush glanced around the fancy kitchen, marveling at the stone counter tops and beautiful hardwood cabinets. A large table was sitting in the middle, wooden chairs all around it. It was gorgeous, it was perfect, it was a home.

And none of the boys could have any of it.

Damn, he was in a bad mood. A regular glum and dumb_. And_ his arm was still achy.

"Well, sit," Christine said impatiently, pointing at the chairs. Feeling a bit annoyed with all the bossy girls, the boys sat down. "Do you want anything to drink?" She offered.

"Sure," said Mush. He was a bit sweaty after running uphill.

Christine nodded and grabbed a large bottle from the counter and five cups. She took off the cap and began to pour yellow liquid into it.

"Jesus, what is that?" Racetrack asked, alarmed. "Piss in a cup?"

The girl snorted. "It's Mountain Dew." She passed out the cups around and sat down with one of her own.

Blink hesitantly took a sip. The liquid sizzled in his throat, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. It was actually quite nice. He drained the paper cup and before he knew it, the "Mountain Dew", whatever it was, was gone.

_Jesus, it's better than beer!!_

Blink held out his cup. "Can Ise hava little more?"

Christine sighed and filled it again. Within seconds, that cup was gone too. Blink groaned and without asking grabbed the bottle of the "Mountain Dew". He then began to chug it. He finished it all without coming up for air once.

Sure, they're cute, but nobody ever said newsboys had manners. And anyway, Blink felt like he'd deserved it. He'd almost been man-raped!

He smacked his lips. He trusted this Christine a little bit more now.

Mush stared at him.

"What?" asked Blink.

"…So, how do wese get back?" Racetrack asked Christine, attempting to make conversation. Christine frowned, trying to shift through his accent.

"Do you know the secret of the locket?" She said back. Racetrack, Mush and Blink shook their heads.

* * *

Feeling a bit bored; Oscar pushed his chair back and stood up. No one noticed as he turned the corner of the kitchen and went into another room, this one a big larger. It was roomy and had several huge couches and chairs in it. On the right there was an abandoned fireplace. In the center of the room lay a huge black thing.

It looked exactly like the one in Yummer's room.

Oscar stared at the creepy rectangle, slowly coming closer and closer to it. As he walked he heard whiffs of the conversation from the other room.

"—And Newsies was this—"

"—so Dutchy found the locket in the pawnshop—"

"—and figured out—"

"---NO!!! FOR THE LAST TIME, RACETRACK!!! THIS IS NOT A DREAM!!! THERE ARE NO NEWSIES ANYMORE!!!! GOD!!!!! QUIT ASKING ME, YOU STUPID RE-"

He ignored the little snippets of voices and continued to walk until he reached the rectangle. His nose was nearly touching it as he sniffed the thing, and then poked it. When the thing didn't move, he ran his hands all around it, trying to figure what it was. Finally his fingers touched something that was hard and round—a button. Oscar pressed it, wondering what it was, and then—

"Holy _shit!!!_"

Oscar reeled backwards from shock. All of a sudden, a huge picture had flickered to life and started talking to him. It was just a random guy all dressed up in a weird looking suit, talking to him. Oscar was glad he'd laid off the drink for a long time.

"What the hell?" came Racetrack's voice. Christine rushed around the corner, rolled her eyes, and picked up a stick. She pushed a few buttons on the stick, and all of a sudden the man's image was gone, and there was darkness again.

"Jesus Christ!" Oscar said, inhaling deeply. "What the…"

"It was a television. Kind of like a moving photo with sound." Explained Christine.

Oscar got to his feet shakily, and wandered back to the table. He was done with exploring.

* * *

"So…." Mush said, after Oscar had stumbled back into the room looking confused and bewildered.

_--Serves him right to be all scared. He's got a stupid hard skull. My arm's killin' me and I barely made a mark on 'im--_

"Youse tellin' me dat dese goils learned how to do magic—"

"They're big Harry Potter freaks," Christine nodded.

"--And Dutchy found two lockets an' sent one back in time that I just _happened _to find, an' it sent us heah?"

Christine nodded again.

"…that don't make no sense."

Christine suddenly incredibly frustrated. "DO NOT MESS AROUND WITH PLOT HOLES, CAPISHE?"

Blink preformed his namesake. Then he began to giggle hysterically. The Mountain Dew had preformed its magic after a few short minutes. Christine was under the impression that her brother had spiked it with something when she wasn't watching.

"So…(hic) how (hic) do wese (hic) get (hic) back? (hic)"

Racetrack was exasperated. "Ain't it obvious? Wese gotta get back there, steal da udder necklace, and then put the two together. Den we'll get back all safe an' sound an' no one will be the wiser!"

Christine stared at him. Racetrack stared back.

"Ain't dat right?"

"Dude, you're like, psychic or something," she muttered under her breath. Blink started laughing harder at hearing her use the strange word.

"Dude, ahahahaha, that's (hic) really, really funny. Dude. Dude. Dudedudedudedudedudedudedudedude---"

_SLAP_

Mush drew back his stinging hand. "Calm down, Kid!"

"Dude…"

Christine hit her forehead against the table, muttering something like, "This is what I get for not buying Sprite."

"So, who's going to go?" Oscar asked, for once taking part in the conversation.

There was a silence, except for Blink's random giggling.

Race felt a lump in his throat. Oscar was a scab, he couldn't be trusted. Blink was drunk on the piss-drink. It was up to either him or Mush.

It wasn't a hard decision, of course. It had to be him.

But before he could open his mouth, Mush beat him to it.

"I'll do it," volunteered the dark skinned Newsie.

There was a collective sigh around the table.

'Dude," said Blink again.

_**A/N: Wow. That was a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be...and a lot worse, too. Sorry about that. :smiles nervously: The next chapter should be pretty awesome. It'll be all-secret agent like. Therefore, sweet.**_

_**Remember to review!! **_


	6. SexySecretAgent Mush

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.

THEY'RE AWESOME! THEY'RE FUNNY! THEY'RE SHOUTOUTS!!

Princessnatashaoftheelavie: Err…thanks for reviewing?

Spinner: XD Glad to hear it, dude. Thanks a bunch!! XD

Star Lewis:is majorly flattered: I love Yummers too. I told someone else this in an earlier shoutout, but she's the easiest to write out of the five girls. 'cause that's exactly what I'd do to the Newsies (Blink and/or Mush in particular)!! Lol. Thanks a bunch! XD

burnt-mufn:agrees with you whole-heartedly: Indeed. :gives you mad love:

Trignifty: Oh, urg, I know the feeling. Vacations suck without a computer, especially if you're as addicted to the internet (and fanfiction!) as I am…lol. T-H-A-N-K-S!

Spinner: Aw, I love you too:huggles: I got the "sex-on-a-stick" thing from my friend Bethany at band camp, who is positively the funniest person I know. She was bonkers. XD You're probably right about the bi-polar thing. Dude. Someone needs to write a story about that….if somebody hasn't already. That would so be flippen' awesome.

Dusk Writer: Yeah, that was: my: favorite part too:huggles us: And, yeah. You might smell something, but don't hold your breath on it. I'm sure where it's going….yet. o.0 Oh, and you're a Stargate Fan?? Wow. I think you may be the first one I've met who's not…. incredibly scary….as well. Yay! Kudos to you!!

Aqua320: Wow. Being told that this is the greatest story on fanfiction certainly makes a person's ego go up quite a bit. XD. Thanks for reviewing!

SilverRain1.3: lol. :nods: that's probably a good idea. XD. But Drunken!Blink is really fun to write. I can so picture him running around naked (yum!), being all "Wooo!" and singing the fabulous drinking song known as "High Times Hard Times." That'd be sweet. XD

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Blink was scary.

No, really, he was scary.

He wasn't usually a very threatening person, and Mush had known him since he was very small, but still—after drinking that…that _stuff_, Blink was terrifying.

_Well,_ Mush mused, as he watched Kid Blink giggle (giggle!) like a maniac, _at least he's a happy drunk. _

Racetrack was just as scary as Kid Blink when he was annoyed, so, of course, he had the uncommon good sense to start to scream at Blink. The eye-patched boy slowly sank down in his seat, quieting down. His facial expression, however, didn't change at all. It looked rather like a hyperactive puppy

"Fine," Christine said, looking relieved. She pushed her chair back and stood up. "But we need to get some new clothes for …um…--"

"Mush," Mush offered helpfully.

Christine gaped at him. "You're the one Yummers keeps talking about? Jesus, I thought you were supposed to be a sex god!!"

"Whoa, wait a second," said Racetrack, confused. "Yummers is in love with Blink, not Mush!"

Christine shook her head. "Yummers was in love with Mush last month…I guess she changed her preferences. The month before she was in love with David."

_Well, dis'll be the first time Dave's ever got a goil,_ mused Racetrack.

"M-Mush?" Blink snarled. "Yummers…been two-timin' me? I'll kill 'er, lousy slut. I…t'ought…she…loved me!"

Everyone at the table slowly revolved around to look at him. Blink beamed at them all, as if nothing was wrong with that statement. "...What?"

Slowly, slowly, Mush took his nearly full cup of Piss-Drink (he hadn't touched it after Blink had started to chug) and threw it in the demented newsboy's face. Kid Blink touched his grinning mouth for a second, apparently going over what he just said in his mind. His smile was then replaced by a look of utmost horror.

Oscar chuckled.

"Right," said Christine, clearly trying to change the subject. "Anyway, we need to get Mush a new set of clothes. Luckily, I have a brother that's about the same size—"

"---but why do Ise need new clothes?" Mush inquired, bemused. His clothes were just fine, thank you very much.

"Becau- Because—Um…It'll look cool!" Christine answered hastily. Her face reddened as the boys stared at her. "Oh, all right. The truth is…I want Mush to look like a Sexy Secret Agent! Like James Bond! Or Matt Damon! Or The Mission Impossible Guy!"

"Huh?" said Racetrack. Those words summed up the other's faces completely. "What are ya goin' on about?"

_Oh, dear. That'll ruin Lizzie's—Dutchy's—plan of SexySecretAgent!Mush,_ Christine thought acidly.

"Well," The girl said, choosing her words carefully, "If he dresses differently, they won't notice him as much. Maybe. Possibly."

Mush and Racetrack shared a look. "Alright," Mush said slowly. "I'll try it."

* * *

A hop, skip, and a jump later, Mush was inside Christine's strange looking bathroom, trying to understand how to put on a black garment Christine called a trenchcoat. It was nearly fifteen minutes into it when he realized that the coat was on upside down.

"What is taking him so long?" moaned Oscar. "Come on, dumbass—I mean, Mush. Hurry it up, I want to get back home."

Racetrack swatted him. "Quit whinin'," He scolded. Then: "Mush? Youse wanna show us what ya got?"

"No!" Came the muffled reply. "It looks stupid!"

"It can't be that bad," reasoned Christine. "Come on out!"

There was a growl, and the door swung open. Blink doubled up in laughter. "Dude!"

A very irritated Mush was standing there, dressed in a long, black coat. It fit him perfectly, since he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath (!), and it fell just under his knees, swishing the coat around whenever he moved. It looked quite odd considering he was wearing short pants.

He looked absolutely hilarious.

Blink guffawed.

"So what do ya t'ink, Mush?" Racetrack asked between laughter. "Are ya sexy enough?"

Mush shook his head. Christine glared at Race. "You don't even know what that means," she sneered.

Race wiped tears from his eyes. "Ise know enough of what it means,"

"And Mush ain't it," said Blink.

"Humph," Mush humph-ed. "Can Ise put my shirt back on?"

Racetrack waved a vague hand at him. "Nah, keep it. Maybe ya won't have to sneak in. The goils'll just start laughing soon as they see ya and youse can steal the necklace from dem then."

Mush pouted. He wished Racetrack had agreed to be a "Sexy Secret Agent" first.

* * *

As soon as Mush had deposited his shirt in a paper sack Christine had provided for him, the five trooped off. Oscar was amazed at how dark it all was outside. In just a few short hours, (it took a lot of time to convince Mush to leave the trenchcoat on) the day had grown dark. It was much more darker here than the big city. And quieter. Crickets chirped, and occasionally a dog would bark, but other than that, there was nothing.

Oscar hated it.

When the little group of people had finally made it to The Dreaded Hailey's House (for that was what Christine called it), the boys were positively shaking from nerves. Well, Mush was. Blink was shaking with laughter. Racetrack was shaking from nicotine withdrawal. Oscar was shaking…because he could, I suppose. Perhaps it was from anger.

"I don't wanna do this, I know I'm gonna fall or somethin'" Mush whispered franticly, as they turned the corner onto her street. "Plus—hey look, the light ain't on in that window anyhow. Let's just go--"

Oscar grabbed him by his coat collar, pushing him foreword none too gently. "You volunteered for this mess," He said gruffly.

"You'll be fine," assured Christine. "Look, all you have to do is climb that tree, and check to see if they're in there. If they are, we'll make a plan to get it back. If not…"

Mush, Racetrack, Oscar, and Blink busied themselves by mentally hitting their foreheads. They hadn't noticed the huge elm that was conveniently right by the window before. Perhaps if they had, they wouldn't have had to jump from two stories.

"Alright," Mush muttered, "Let's get this ova with."

He hoisted himself on the elm, nearly falling off with the effort. Mush slowly climbed the tree, until he crawled up to a limb that was sturdy enough for him to roll, belly forward, up to the window. Mush held on for dear life as he clung, but he somehow managed to look in. The window was closed and dark, and he was sure he wouldn't see anything.

Boy, was he wrong.

As he pressed his nose into the cold window, Mush noticed the faint flicker of candles in the room. When his eyes and ears adjusted well enough, he could even hear what they were saying.

"So," came the unforgettable voice of Dutchy. "We are gathered here today to initiate a new member into our clan, The Newsies. Yummers—"

--Yummers whooped—

"—Apparently managed to convert our dear friend Logan into The Light. So, I have called an emergency meeting for her initiation."

Mush's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

A new girl, apparently this "Logan" entered the scene. She talked very fast, even faster than Yummers, and sounded like a person Mush didn't want to meet after dark.

"Is it true you really met the Newsies?" she asked.

"Yes," Doodles said cheerfully.

"I think they liked us, I really think they did!" Yummers shouted joyfully. "I swear, I was this close to getting Blink into my pants, really—"

"Ahem," Hailey coughed. "Are we going to go into the initiation?"

"Oh!" said Dutchy's startled voice. Mush saw the shadows of bodies in the candlelight and wondered what on earth they were doing now.

A chant began, low and ominous, raising the hairs on Mush's neck. He looked down from the tree, wishing he could climb down and run far, far away.

The chant was this—

"Nos diligo Novus They es filiolus,

Nos votum nos could screw lemma, vae nos cannot

Nos diligo Novus They es filiolus,

Nos votum nos could screw lemma, vae nos cannot."

[1

In between each "Nos diligo Novus, They es filiolus, " the chant was accompanied by a loud "BONK!"

This continued for about a minute, before the chant was ended by a rousing shout of "Carpe Diem!"

_What. The. Hell?_

Apparently the new girl was as weirded out as Mush, because she said rather nervously,

"…Why are you guys hitting yourselves in the head with the Newsies DVD?"

"Because," answered Doodles serenely. "It shows our true faith to the Pelvic Thrusting Gods."

"Oh, Okay," said Logan.

Mush scratched his head, an amazing feet considering he was dangling on a branch. He was incredibly confused.

"Mush!" hissed Christine, below. He glanced down. "Are they there?"

Mush nodded, put a finger to his lips, and then turned back to the conversation of the girls.

"Wait," He heard Logan say. "Pelvic Thrusting Gods? The Newsies Movie has its own religion?"

"Yup!" Yummers said cheerfully. "Newsies isn't just a movie, darling. It's a way of Life!"

Mush, of course, took that literally. Being a Newsie was a way of life. But it wasn't fun and games. It was hard. It was just you and the streets, and lots of times kids just curled up and died because they couldn't take the struggle to survive. These girls were soiling the ideas of Newsies altogether.

At least, that's what was running through his head.

He heard the shuffling of papers, and then listened to Hailey explain. "Here are the rules of Newsies. Read these, and follow them. If you break any of these rules, you aren't part of the church anymore. It's twenty-five pages, so start reading."

* * *

Now I, as the author, am sure that you, as the reader, are very curious as to what was written on those twenty-five sheets of paper. You're probably going, "What the--A Newsies RELIGION!! Who cares about being Christian: Jewish: Hindu: Buddist: Wiccian: Satanist!! I want to join!"

Unfortunately, you can't. For on page ten, it clearly states that once you have created a fanfiction account and devoted your time and energy and life to the reading of the Newsies Fictions, you are part of The Light. So, in affect, you are all disciples.

Congratulations.

* * *

"It sounds good to me," Logan agreed happily. "When do we start?"

Mush watched, vaguely, as the four original members stood around in a circle, forcing Logan to kneel. Dutchy took a sharp looking something--- really, a plastic sword she had gotten for five bucks—and tapped it on Logan's shoulders twice.

"Logan, stand up," she commanded. Logan did so.

"Your new Newsie name," continued Dutchy, "Shall be Frostie. Congratulations. You are now a member of the Newsies."

"YAYAYAYAYAYYAYYAYYAYAY!" added Yummers. "WOOHOOO!"

Mush groaned softly. Not another one...

* * *

On the ground, Racetrack wondered what was taking Mush so long. It had been nearly ten minutes, and all anyone had managed to get out of Newsie in the tree was that the girls were there. That was good in itself, but that didn't get them any closer to 1899. What on Earth was going on?

He stood awkwardly next to Christine, shuffling his feet on the ground. On his right, Kid Blink was bouncing on the balls of his feet, watching a small bat fly around the trees and giggling maliciously. Oscar was next to Blink, cross-legged on the ground.

Racetrack stared upwards, watching and waiting. He felt a strange sensation in his hand all of a sudden---a hand creeping into his own. Racetrack stared down at it, as Christine's hand wiggled into his and stayed there. He glanced at the girl, who smiled shyly and didn't say anything more. Race blinked, opened his mouth, and then clamped it shut. He slowly let his glance shift upwards to the window again.

Racetrack didn't remove his hand.

Suddenly, a smell Racetrack would know _anywhere_ popped into his nose. It was the sweet, sweet smell of smoke, of cheap cigars and cigarettes. Race turned his head around and sure enough, Oscar was smoking.

Race quickly let go of Christine's hand and bounded over to the scab, putting on his best "pitiful kid" face. He hadn't had a smoke in at least six hours.

That was a long time for Racetrack.

"Do ya have any more matches?" Race asked hopefully, raising his eyebrows the way he always did when he was selling papes.

Oscar's cigarette went out. The scab flicked it to the ground and grabbed another from his jacket, smiling mischievously. Then he pulled out a box full of matches, took out one, and then put the box back in his pocket.

"Nope," said Oscar. "None left. Sorry."

Racetrack seethed.

* * *

Mush wasn't enjoying listening to the girls gabble on and on--but strangely, it was sort of compelling. He couldn't tear his eyes (and ears away) from the conversation, which involved several of his fellow Newsies and lots of inappropriate acts.

As Mush was going over in his mind about what Frostie said about Skittery (He THOUGHT she said he was "teh SMEXYEST MAN EVA" but he couldn't be sure), he heard his name mentioned with Blink's.

Yes. The girls had moved on to Slash-Discussing.

"Blink is soooo in love with Mush!" said Yummers. "It's so cute, they're meant to be!"

"...But YOU'RE in love with Blink!"

"So?" replied Yummers. "Mush is hot. We could have a threesome!"

"I think they're secretly having sex behind the scenes of Newsies too," agreed Dutchy. "It makes sense."

"Yeah!" Frostie added.

Mush gagged. His eyes bulged out of his head as he realized what was going on. Mush was certainly NOT in love with his friend. He was NOT! That was... ah... whaddya call it...icky. Nasty. Mush was on the straight and narrow path. He was definitely not gay.

He nearly fell off the branch. Mush didn't look down, because if he managed to catch Blink's eye, Mush thought he might either burst out crying...or maybe laughing. One of the two.

Someone crossed the room and flicked the light switch on, filling the small and obnoxious room with light. The five girls were seated randomly on the floor or bed, looking quite as insane as they had earlier that day. Strangely, they had not a scratch on them from the encounter with The Big Red Shiny Thing.

_Maybe they're monsta's!_ Mush thought. _Certainly explain a lot..._

The new girl, every bit as short as Mush expected her to be, bounced up and down on the bed. She had strange colored streaks in her hair that looked less than natural.

"I don't like slash," Doodles whined. She crossed and uncrossed her legs, looking uncomfortable. "I'm all for gay rights...but I mean... smut... ew."

Mush decided he like Doodles a lot better than anyone else.

The other girls apparently didn't think so. Even the new member, Frost or Fworst or whatever her name was, gasped.

"You traitor!" exclaimed Yummers. Her eyes narrowed into tiny, tiny little slits. Hailey and Dutchy nodded in agreement. "You broke rule number 12--slash is a gift from the Fanfiction Gods! You have to honor the Fanfiction Gods! You just HAVE to!"

"No, no," Doodles held up her hands. "Listen,"

Dutchy interrupted her. Her light voice--a voice Mush was used to hearing in his dreams--turned low, almost as low as Morris Delancy's. "Yum's right, Doodles. You broke a rule. You know what that means?"

Doodles stood up. "Yes---I mean, no! You CAN'T do this!!! I'm your friend! We've known each other since pre-kindergarten! We've dated all the same guys, watched all the same movies, C'MON! Guys!"

Hailey grabbed Doodles arm. "It doesn't matter. You broke the rules."

Doodles twisted and squirmed, screaming. Yummers grabbed the girl's other arm, and together Hailey and Yummers marched Doodles over to the window.

Quickly, and with amazing athletic abilities, Mush swung himself under the branch, holding on tightly. Even though he was underneath, he could hear everything the girls said. He could hear someone open the window. could hear Doodle's muffled yells, and could hear Dutchy saying a "prayer." In a matter of ten seconds, the Fans had pushed their "friend" out the window without a second thought.

They were even crazier than Mush had thought.

* * *

In the middle of Racetrack's sulkfest, a body unexpectedly fell from the window. It hit the ground with a loud thump, startling the group. Race was amazed to see it was Doodles, who lay very still and didn't move from the grass.

A blonde, curly head popped out from the window. Race's heart sank_. //not now//_ He thought. _//please, God, if you're really out theah...//_

Apparently, God was busy doing something else.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" Yummers hollered. She then noticed the boys (and Christine!) on the ground. "Oh, hello..." she said.

Yummer's smile grew wider and wider and with the speed and agile of a cat, she jumped. The Fangirl landed on all fours, and then latched herself onto Blink's arm.

Holding her foul grip on Blink, she was almost like a leech. Blink, like earlier, couldn't get away. Of course, that may have just been the Mountain Dew talking--but we will never know.

"Guys!" Yummers shouted. "They've come back! I knew Blinky-182 couldn't stay away from my smexy charm--Ooo! And Christine came! 'istine, are you finally convinced that the Newsies are SEXY LOVE GODS OF HOTNESS?"

Christine didn't really want to answer that question.

"That was rhetorical, of course they are!" said Yummers, not wanting an answer. "So, thank you, thank you, thank you, for bringing them back!"

"Uh," said Christine. "You're welcome?"

Meanwhile, Racetrack and Oscar were slowly backing away, attempting to turn tail and run. They had managed to back up a few feet, keeping an eye on Yummers, when they walked right into the forms of Dutchy and Hailey and, (though they didn't know it) Logan.

"Hi, boys," Dutchy said cheerfully. "Miss us?"

And so the Newsies found themselves in captivity once again.

--Except for Mush, who was still dangling unnoticed on the branch.

What were they to do?

* * *

[1 We love Newsies, They are Really Hot, We wish we could screw them, alas, we cannot. And of course, Carpe Diem means Seize the Day.

XD

The bonk thing I stole from Monty Python and The Holy Grail. YAY!

Uh…yeah.

Oh, and next chapter shall be the last in the Never Swipe A Necklace Series. I'm kind of dreading it….ah, well.

XD

I'm sorry this took so long to get out, sincerely. Stupid School, blah. Eighth grade isn't really that fun.

---Me---


	7. A New Begining

**Disclaimer: I've got you're f:cking Newsies, b:tch! Why don't you come find it? Stupid F:cking heavy thing…**

**Shoutouts!! **

**(the last, dangit!)**

**Swindler: I know, this story keeps getting weirder and weirder! …sorry about that? XD Blink-182 is a band. A very good band. Go listen to their music. Now. :pokes you: Shanks for reviewing!**

**Aqua320: Yes. Yes, it is. I luffles Monty Python. XD. Thank you for the loverly review!**

**SilverRain1.3: You and me both, sistah. SexySecretAgent!Mush…Yum. I'm sorry to see this end too!! It's been such a pleasure! And…I'm sure your religion is just as cool as mine. Or perhaps cooler. Actually, probably much cooler. XD thank you! **

**Spinner: Yeah, I need to find new nicknames for Blinky-18—I mean, Kid. Blink. Yeah. XD Oh, and don't worry, I won't throw you out the window…. lol. I'd never do that to dearest darling Spinner! And the question of if Christine is a "Secret Newsie Lover" …Well, I guess you'll just have to see, won't you? XD Thanks!**

**Immortali: Karate-kick? That's a great idea! XD LOL about the whole Yummers/Jack thing. You're so right, that'd be HYSTERICAL!!! Oh, wow. :grins stupidly: I could totally picture that! And Yay! Another person who is with me on MPD! My friend (who is a big Blink lover like me) doesn't agree with me at ALL, so it's good to have another person on my side. XD. THANKS FOR THE REVIEW:huggles:**

**dusk writer: Yes, the girls are a few fries short of a happy meal. XD. But that's why we love them. Monty Python IS amazing, I love British Humor. …oh, and I posted the chant lyrics at the bottom of the last chapter…but if you didn't get them (and this calls for anyone else, too) the lyrics are:**

**We love Newsies, they are really hot,**

**We wish we could screw them, alas we cannot**

**Thank god for Latin translators online. XD.**

**Thanks for reviewing, everybody! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!**

* * *

The captives (and Christine, who didn't really count) were taken upstairs, their hands behind their backs, poked and prodded by Yummers and Frostie.

The two girls were cackling together menacingly, taking great pleasure in watching Kid Blink squirm whenever they tapped him on the back. Hailey led the group upstairs, passing by an older lady who could only be her mother.

_Her Mama don't even blink an eye that she's got captives, _thought Racetrack grumpily _Is that bad parenting or what?_

In reality, Hailey's Mother was proud of her little girl and friends. When she was a young'n, she'd gotten a restraining order against her from Paul McCartney, of the Beatles. The order was hanging up in the living room still. She had _Paul McCartney's _signature on her _wall! _She still squeed every time she walked in and saw his beautiful handwriting.

Craziness runs through genetics, I tell ya.

They were led to the Room where It Had Started At The Beginning. Keeping a firm grip on Oscar and Race, Dutchy slammed the door shut with her foot, a hard look on her face.

"You thought you could escape us, did you?" she snarled. "Well, you were wrong!"

"Well, actually, uh, wese coulda left if we wanted ta," Race said apologetically. His eyes darted around, spotting a glint of gold on her neck.

It could only be the necklace.

Of course, it wouldn't do any good if Race grabbed it and ran. Mush was still outside, frantically clinging to the branch, holding the other necklace.

The boys were forced down on hard wooden chairs, hands and feet tied together by way of a sticky tape. Their mouths were left ungagged.

Christine, on the other hand, was led to the massive purple fluffy chair and sat down on her own will, looking quite comfortable.

"Hey!" demanded Oscar. "How come she don't have to get tied up?"

"Dude, Christine's our friend," said Frostie, a "duh" expression on her face.

Blink, Race, and Oscar's heads all whipped around, staring at Christine.

"You're _friends _with these foul beasts?" said Racetrack. "I'se thought…"

"We agree on lots of stuff, just not boy tastes," Christine said simply.

No more was said.

Racetrack's feelings were a little hurt, though.

Blink stared at the floor the awkward silence, praying for God to take him far, far away from this. Sure, he got drunk a few times, and maybe he smoked more than he should, but the he was still a nice guy. Blink didn't deserve this…atrocity at all!

Quite suddenly, a finger appeared in his vision—the new girl, Frostie's, finger. It slowly reached down and pressed a button on his shirt. It lifted up again, and moved down one button, which was also pressed upon. The Finger repeated this several times, before Blink shook out of his paralysis and half yelled:

"What the hell are you doin'?"

Frostie looked up at him, a demented sparkle in her eyes. "I is pushing your buttons," she said wickedly.

Blink couldn't' decide who he liked least, Yummers or Frostie. It was a one-way tie for him.

* * *

Mush stared into the window, oatmeal-colored nose pressed against the cool glass. He could see his friends (and Oscar) tied up in there, locked in with the girls. Mush was very glad that he was outside, unlike Blink, Race, and Christine.

On the other hand, he still needed to get Dutchy's necklace.

Now, Mush wasn't a stupid guy, as _some _people (Oscar) would say. He was smart enough, he just…. was kind of slow. Naive. Mush Meyers wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, per say, but he could hold his own in a battle of the smarts contest.

This, on the other hand, seemed hopeless. How on earth could he be expected to barge in and steal Dutchy's necklace single-handedly?

Mush pondered and pondered, the ticks and cogs in his brain working overtime.

And then, quite suddenly, an idea came to him.

He knew what he must do.

* * *

The girls weren't talking, and that was scaring Race.

Normally, Yummers not talking would be a _good _thing. But the look she was giving Blink was a scary one, almost carnivorous. She looked like a cat on the prowl, and that was just creepy.

"You know," Yoda, said thoughtfully "I always thought meet you guys would be fun, but you all are _really _boring."

"I have an idea!" Yummers jumped out of her seat. "You all—excluding the Delancy, of course—are _all _great dancers! Show us whatcha got!"

Racetrack, Blink, and Oscar gave her a look.

Frostie smacked Yummers upside the head. "They're tied up, retard."

"Oh, yeah."

"Idiot,' mumbled Dutchy. She stretched from her chair, and got up, towering (well, it seemed that way) over the terrified boys. "You kids are too good-two shoes for me," she said.

"Mush," Dutchy commanded, forgetting that Mush wasn't in the room. "Show us how you do it in Bottle Alley…"

"Wait," Frostie said quietly. "Mush isn't—"

"I'm here," came a voice (surprisingly deep) from the window.

"Mush!" screamed seven voices. The last, Oscar, didn't say anything until Blink stepped on his foot.

"Mush!" yelled Oscar, a little too late. His eyes were watering with pain.

"Yeah," said Mush. Very deliberately, he slid open the window, and crawled in, his black trenchcoat looking very distinct and smart. Christine had made a good choice in figuring out his wardrobe.

"See," bragged Dutchy. "He came back to _me. _We had to tie the others up, but not _Mush."_

"That's right," Mush said. He slowly walked towards the girls, his fingers at the top button of his coat. Mush undid the button, and then the next, all the while an expression of dead sexiness on his face.

Yummers, Dutchy, Yoda, and Frostie began to pant.

He let the trenchcoat drop to the ground, casually, as if stripping like a hooker was normal for him. Mush could be a very good actor when he wanted to be, and now was the time he was glad he was so talented. It took a lot of courage to strip in front of teenage girls.

As Mush's full, bare chest came into view, Frostie's eyes grew wider and wider. She fell out of her seat, unconscious, with a nosebleed.

_Well, that takes care of her_, thought Mush. _Only three left to go, thank God._

Mush danced around the room, only in his shorts. He (who had studied Medda on many occasions, and was vastly imitating her) pranced to and fro, swaying his hips from side to side as the girl's eyes followed him. Mush walked behind the prisoners, dancing still, and quickly and quietly slipped Racetrack a pocketknife.

Race instantly started working on his bonds. None of the kidnappers knew it, for they were too busy staring at the muscled bare chest that was Mush.

Even Christine couldn't help but admit he was hot.

Very hot.

Exceedingly Hot.

Tremendously, incredibly, gorgeously, beautifully—

Racetrack sprang up from his chair, rushing at Yoda (who he felt was the leader of his problems). The girl didn't even blink as he hit her upside the head. She collapsed on the ground, out cold.

Mush started undoing the buttons on his shorts.

The remaining pair, Dutchy and Yummers, had their mouths open as wide as they could.

Blink hoped a bug would fly in their mouth.

Race creeped behind the two girls, and without warning jumped up and knocked their two heads together, hard.

Mush breathed a sigh of relief. We're free! He reattached his buttons and put on his real, true shirt. 

Tossing the knife to Christine, Racetrack jerked the necklace from Dutchy's slender neck and without a word (incredible!) handed it to Mush's outstretched hand.

Beginning to work on Oscar's binds, Christine opened her mouth, and then closed it, looking sad.

"I shoah hope this works," muttered Blink. "I'se sick of dis stupid woild!"

Mush shuddered, still feeling exposed. He didn't know how Vaudeville stars did it.

* * *

"Well," said Christine, five minutes later, "It was nice meeting you."

"Yeah," Racetrack replied casually. "Not everyone in this woild is nuts, I guess."

_Wouldn't bet on that, _Christine thought.

"Yeah," she choked out. "Umm…you all aren't as ugly as I said, I just said that to make the girls mad—"

"Wese know," Race held out a hand, expecting her to shake. "No harm done."

Christine shook his hand, trembling slightly before rushing at Racetrack and hugging him tightly. "I'll never forget you," she promised. "Never, ever."

Racetrack was turning purple, as he couldn't breathe. Mush cleared his throat.

"Oh, right," Christine let go. "Sorry,"

"''s fine," mumbled Racetrack, massaging his sore neck. "Can we go now?"

During this little escapade, none of the group had thought to keep an eye on the unconscious girls. They were too hurt to do any damage, or so they thought.

_Thought_ being the key word.

Yummers stirred slightly as she came to her senses. She remembered where she was and _who exactly _was standing in front of her, and sat up.

Not noticing this, the boys gathered around Mush. They each put a hand on his shoulder, preparing to leave.

Before Mush could press the two open lockets together, Yummers dived at Blink, grabbing him by the ankles and holding on like a small dog.

"Nooo, Blinky!" She cried, tears streaming down her face. "You _can't! Don't leave me!"_

Blink kicked out, his foot connecting with face. His arms failed around as he attempted to escape, knocking Race's hat off of his head.

Yummers hit her head on the window as she flew back. That didn't stop the desperate girl, and she scrambled to her feet, about to pounce again.

"Quick!" screamed Christine. "Mush, the necklaces—push them together, hurry!"

Mush nodded, and before Yummers could attack the group again, had pulled the lockets together.

and

the

newsies

(and scab)

were

gone.

* * *

"We're back!" yelled Race joyfully, not caring that he had left his hat in 2007. "Back!"

Mush threw an arm around his friends, happily looking over the alley in _Tibby's._ He'd never complain about anything ever again. He was back in 1899, and that was enough for him.

Blink, whose head had started to throb, beamed nevertheless. _I'll never look at another girl again, _he promised to himself. _I'll become a monk or somethin'_

Whether or not this was a good thing, I leave up for the readers to decide.

When they'd landed back into the dirty alley, the unfeeling Newsies had pushed Oscar to the back. He'd fallen right back into where Racetrack had found him—a pile of garbage.

As he grumpily got to his feet, the scab couldn't help feeling something was wrong. This feeling only intensified as he caught Blink's eye. The one eyed Newsie gasped, and then began to laugh heartily.

"What?" asked Oscar. "What's wrong?"

Blink poked Mush in the stomach, still laughing hysterically despite his headache. "Lookit his head, Mush!"

Mush gave Oscar the once-over. His eyes began to widen. "It's on _backwards!"_

"What the—" Oscar looked down. His behind proudly jutted in front of him—Mush was indeed right.

Oscar was now a mutant, or something to that affect.

"Why didn't someone ever tell me my ass was so big?" demanded the scab, looking at his bum clearly for the first time.

Racetrack burst out laughing, and then started running away as fast as he could, his friends following. Oscar was left alone in the alley, his head still inserted on backwards.

"God_dammit!" _He swore.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in 2007, a teary-eyed Christine stared at the spot where her new crush had stood. Slowly she walked over and grabbed his fallen hat, clutching it to her chest.

_I'll just take it home_, she thought. _He won't miss it._

She stared at the hat for a moment, wiping her eyes. _You know, _Christine decided. _I really need to watch that movie again._

Knowing the girls memorized the movie from back to front to sideways, Christine grabbed the DVD from Hailey's bedside table without any guilt at all. It was a miracle that the Newsies hadn't seen themselves on TV. Who knew how they could have been traumatized then?

The girl slipped out the window, and walked home, feeling better already. When she got back, she slipped the movie in the DVD player and spent a whole two and a half hours in bitter heaven. Christine's eyes couldn't—wouldn't—leave the television. Or Racetrack's sexy form.

After the movie was over, Christine went back to the menu, and pressed play movie again.

And again.

And again.

A new obsession was born.

And she _loved _it.

* * *

Fin. 


End file.
